


Sleep

by coffee_ksare



Series: Give Me Love, Give Me Attention [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Insomnia, Jaehyung is mentally struggling, Living Together, M/M, No Fluff, References to Depression, Serious, Slight Comfort, struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_ksare/pseuds/coffee_ksare
Summary: Jaehyung's struggles with insomnia.“Hot milk?” he suggests.Immediately, Jaehyung shakes his head and says, “I hate it now.”“Books?” Younghyun proposes next.“I haven’t got one I like.”There’s a soft hum before Younghyun says, “Then just lie there and breathe.”
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Series: Give Me Love, Give Me Attention [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696822
Kudos: 48





	Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work for a new series I'm planning on writing where I write drabbles or short works inspired by excerpts from Caryl Churchill's play, Love and Information. This work was inspired by the part/excerpt "Sleep" and the plot closely follows the text from the play. I'm not sure when I'll be able to write and upload the other works for this series, but know that the works will not be in order. Each work will be from a different time and may not clearly connect to the previous or following parts. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy and please feel free to leave questions and comments below! Thank you!

The lights are off and darkness envelopes Jaehyung. He feels Younghyun’s warmth beside him, the weight of the blankets on top and hears the electrical hums throughout their shared apartment. Although without his glasses, the items inside the bedroom are blurry, he can still see each item’s shape clearly within the dark. Jaehyung stares up at the ceiling and stares and stares. Nothing happens. He’s already tried to count sheep and fold papers, but he doesn’t feel even the slightest bit sleepy. Instead, the darkness suffocates him and he feels heavy underneath it, unable to move. 

With the most strength he can gather from his feet, he lightly kicks up the blanket for a breeze of chill air. Even after the chill air passes by his whole body, he still feels trapped - locked up - within insomnia. Then, Younghyun begins to rustle. It’s not long before Younghyun faces Jaehyung, lying on his side, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Why are you still up?” Younghyun questions quietly followed by a small yawn.

Jaehyung simply states, “I can’t sleep,” in a monotonous tone. 

Younghyun’s feet shuffle underneath the blankets, just like what he does before getting ready for work in the morning. They create soft noises along with tiny breezes near Jaehyung’s own feet. Then, Younghyun moves his hands to the top of the blanket, having them ready to pull the blanket down. 

“Hot milk?” he suggests.

Immediately, Jaehyung shakes his head and says, “I hate it now.”

When Jaehyung first started being unable to sleep properly, Younghyun would grab Jaehyung’s favourite yellow chick mug and warm some milk with honey. He would bring it into their bedroom where Jaehyung still lay in bed and bring it close to Jaehyung’s chapped lips. It worked like a charm for some time until Jaehyung’s insomnia spiraled down further into the abyss. However, Jaehyung was a stubborn person. Even after his insomnia had worsened, he had tried to fix it with Younghyun’s lucky warm milk. Yet, all that seem to lessen was Jaehyung’s tolerance for the sweet taste.

“Books?” Younghyun proposes next.

Younghyun knows Jaehyung loves books. It’s a way for the older to unwind and relax through the fictional world. Jaehyung loves immersing himself inside a book’s imaginary universe because it gives him a way to explore his constantly image jumbled mind. Since a couple of months ago though, his books seem to look less attractive in Jaehyung’s tired eyes. The stack of books he usually kept beside his bedside table is now gone and shelved safely in their bookshelf outside. He doesn’t remember when the last time he picked up a book was anymore, but he does remember one thing. The last time he picked up a book, it drained all the energy out of him within two pages. Reading each individual word and forming images inside his head took so much more effort Jaehyung could have imagined that he felt like his brain stopped functioning the more he read. 

He knows Younghyun should be aware of this, but Jaehyung is just so exhausted; he doesn’t have the energy to explain. So, he responds back, “I haven’t got one I like.”

There’s a soft hum before Younghyun says, “Then just lie there and breathe.”

(The "please" at the end goes unsaid, but both of them know. Except neither bother to mention.)

Hearing that, Jaehyung turns his head to the side to give Younghyun an unimpressed expression before facing the ceiling again.

“My head’s too full of stuff,” Jaehyung retorts.

Younghyun doesn’t say anything else after. Silence hangs in the room; the only sounds are Jaehyung and Younghyun’s steady breathing. Jaehyung thinks maybe Younghyun has fallen back asleep and lets out a sigh. 

He mutters underneath his breath, “I’m being such a bother.”

Slowly, Younghyun’s warm hand finds its way to Jaehyung’s cold, slender one and intertwines their fingers. The younger shifts a little bit closer to Jaehyung’s side and tightens his hold on Jaehyung’s hand. Warmth gradually spreads throughout his palm and he can smell the fresh minty scent of their shampoo on Younghyun’s hair. He breathes the scent in through his nose in an attempt to calm his mind, but the images crashing against each other cease to rest. 

Younghyun rubs soothing circles on top of Jaehyung’s weak hand; in a soft tone, he assures the older, “No, it’s fine. You’re not bothering me.” 

His words take a while to register inside Jaehyung’s overactive mind amidst the chaotic images. When Jaehyung takes in the younger’s words, he tries to focus on how the warmth doesn’t stop spreading to the rest of his body and how Younghyun’s minty shampoo still floats around the air. Nevertheless, Younghyun’s words linger. They seem to weigh heavier and heavier inside his mind and Jaehyung can feel the guilt creep up. He also feels the darkness seep back in once more; they crawl onto Jaehyung’s body and slowly smother him, cutting off oxygen. 

Jaehyung knows he cannot stand the suffocation for a second time. His breaths start getting shorter the longer he stays. Abruptly, Jaehyung’s mind switches into autopilot. He pulls his hand out of Younghyun’s hold and slides off their bed. He doesn’t hear Younghyun’s concerns or worries. Instead, his hands instinctively grab his glasses and phone from the bedside table and his feet automatically lead him to the door. The air that hits his entire body is freezing, but he can feel himself slipping out of the darkness. With each step he takes, the more air he feels inside his lungs. When he’s close to the door, Jaehyung finally has enough air to speak.

“I think I’ll just go on YouTube,” is what he mutters, not looking back at Younghyun and the darkness.

He doesn’t wait for Younghyun to respond and firmly closes the door behind him. Jaehyung steps away from their bedroom door while taking in deep breathes. His hands are clenched to his shirt. His chest heaves up high and down low until his breaths become more shallow. Finally, when Jaehyung turns on the living room lights, it feels like he can breathe at last. 

(That night, the last number Jaehyung sees on the corner of his phone before his eyes flutter to sleep, leading him to bed, is four.)

**Author's Note:**

> In this work (and consequently the series), Jaehyung will be portrayed as having slight symptoms of depression. When I first wrote this, I wasn't sure what to identify his mental struggles as, but I think if I had to label it, it would be labelled as depression. I tried to do some research on how those with depression think, feel and act, but I'm having a lot of trouble trying to write it as accurately as possible. So please excuse me if there are any inaccuracies or if you feel offended by my portrayal of it. I'm trying my best to just illustrate that Jaehyung is having some mental struggles.


End file.
